New here? Read this first! - The Origin Story ♥


I created Chase and Avery back around 2010. Around the time of their creation, I had been through a good amount of trauma, was suffering from horrible panic attacks, and had recently lost my grandfather, who I was incredibly close to and who I looked up to as the near sole male role model in my life.

When I was growing up, I went through my parents’ divorce, a sudden move, mental health issues that went undiagnosed for nearly a decade, and an incredible amount of loneliness. To be quite honest, I really did not have any friends, and the ones that I did have didn't stick with me. This wasn't necessarily anyone's fault, it was just the way that it was. I was known for being a loner, and even my elementary school teachers commented on how I would spend nearly every recess walking the perimeter of the playground alone, talking to no one but myself, either out loud or within my mind. 

From when I was about six years old, I prayed every single day for a big brother. While I knew it wasn't biologically possible to have a big brother (I the oldest sibling), I still wanted someone who would be in my life, who could take care of me and all of my fears, and genuinely love me for who I was. I only had my little sister, and I spent a lot of time protecting her and making sure that she was safe, and I felt like I didn't have anyone to do that for me. My parents divorced, and I felt very alone. I folded in on myself and closed off the world nearly completely. 

Additionally, from a very early age, I realized that I had a talent for writing. I would spend many days writing down lists upon lists of adjectives and ‘pretty words’ that I liked in a little sparkly purple notebook, and I received many compliments from my teachers on how advanced my writing was. I was very good at writing descriptive and creative views of my world, and I was only encouraged further to pursue writing from elementary school into my college years. I have received many awards and recognition for my work, both fiction and non-fiction, including a plaque for English Excellence, which I solely received out of my entire high school graduating class. I do not say these things out of pride, but as a testimony to my pure love of words, reading, writing, and stories. 

In middle school, my loneliness peaked and I was seeing a counselor for the panic attacks I was experiencing and the sheer amount of pain that the stress I had been through from a very young age was causing me. So, in order to cope, I began to create characters that I could talk to. I spent a good amount of time talking both out loud to them and through writing on paper. I talked to them because I was too afraid to talk to my own self. I filled notebook upon notebook with characters in different contexts with different personalities and desires and goals. Two of those characters that I created were Chase James Walker, and Avery Joy Nickelson (I originally spelled it as Nikelson). 

These two are the ones that stuck with me the longest and the most. 

The original writing of Chase & Avery ♥

My goal was to write a book entirely about Chase from Avery's perspective. I wrote out many storyboards and plans of what I would do with them. I received a lot of inspiration for Avery from both myself and Jenny Han’s book We'll Always Have Summer, which I read repeatedly over and over. For some reason, I really enjoyed the story and the characters. I haven't read the book in years, but it does hold a special place in my heart. I never even read the first two books in the trilogy, I only ever read that last one.  

Avery, in her original form and personality, was incredibly representative of me. Timid, shy, lonely, and desperately looking for someone as a role model who she could mimic and pour her heart out to and feel safe with. 

That is why I created Chase.

I purposely created Chase and Avery to be childhood best friends who formed an incredibly close bond, and not as biological siblings. This was a fulfillment of my desire and prayer for a big brother, and I found much solace and peace and warm joy in writing about Chase. That is why I wanted to write an entire book about him, and I spent a good amount of time talking to him. 

Even now, Avery is very much me. I am rewriting her to represent my current self: properly diagnosed with Type 2 bipolar disorder, on medications (as of January 2021, I have quit all of my meds) that are working for me, surrounded by loving and steadfast friends and family, and engaged to the love of my life. I now even have the big brother I dreamed and prayed of having (I’ll be sure to talk more about him). My dream of becoming an author is now playing out in my current endeavor to become a high school English teacher, where I hope to share my passion of reading, writing, and words with my students. 

Writing was a true escape from my mind. I felt safe within the scrawls of my handwriting because I could create anything I wanted and I had total control and power over it. I could make my characters say and do anything I wanted, needed, and felt, and I could watch them fall in love, have huge fights, become closer or drift apart, and experience tragedy, fear, hope, and joy, - they operated in their own little galaxy of my creation, and I didn’t feel so alone. 

This is the overall origin story of these two characters. Before I get more into specifics of their individual origins and personalities, I want to explain the purpose for this blog, this little corner of the Web that now belongs to me.

First off, what’s with the manga panels and characters? 
Let me be clear: I do not own any of the images I use on this blog. To put it simply, two of the most influential forces in my life that have kept me going are both stories and anime. Additionally, it is a little thing in my friend group to send one another manga panels that inspire us or are just cute or wholesome in general. Most of these manga panels come from manga I have not read but found relatable to my imagination of Chase and Avery. I simply go on Pinterest or search “cute manga characters.” I will be doing my best to cite the sources of all and any images I use on this blog with full disclosure that they do not belong to me and I did not draw or create them (I wish I could draw! However, my art lies with words). All writing here belongs to me and is my own original work, but the images do not belong to me. While I did create character profiles for what I originally imagined Chase and Avery to look like, I do want these characters to be fluid in any reader’s mind. So, that explains why I chose the manga black-and-white aesthetic!

Secondly, why am I bringing Chase and Avery back to life? Why should anyone care?
I am doing this for me and anyone who might fall in love with these two and find solace in their little adventures. Chase and Avery were products of my scared, unmedicated, and panic-filled mind - they provided with me someone to ‘talk to,’ and helped me cope when I felt alone. I would love it if they could do the same for others. I do not expect this blog to blow up or gain a massive following: this is just for me, and for anyone who would like to stick around, read their little stories, or just support me. Most, if not all of the writing on this blog will be little scenarios and conversations between Chase and Avery that are based off my real life experiences, lessons I’ve learned, and the conversations I’ve had with my big brothers: W, J, and T.W.

Thirdly, what was my inspiration for creating and writing about these two?
To once again be clear, these two are my own original creation and work. I created Chase and Avery back when I was around 13 years old, and at the time had no social media or really spent time on the Internet. Therefore, I promise that I did not steal them from anyone else and I am not deliberately copying anyone’s work. As the disclaimer goes at the beginning of any fictional work: Chase and Avery are a work of fiction. Names, characters, business, events, and incidents are the products of the author's imagination. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, or actual events is purely coincidental. Additionally, any resemblance to any other author’s work is not a deliberate act of plagiarism. I do now pull inspiration from other writers’ work, but would never intend to directly copy or steal their ideas without credit. 

To anyone who got to this point, hello! Thank you for reading. I appreciate you being here with my whole heart. 

Now that this is all out of the way...let me introduce you to Chase and Avery in more depth.

Check out their individual posts ♥ (will be writing soon - July 19, 2020)

If you would like to know more about me and my bipolar and life journey, check out the About + Contact Me page on the blog! 


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